“What Dusty Springfield can tell us about the benefit of coping rather than hoping?”

“Wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’

Plannin’ and dreamin’ each night of his charms

That won’t get you into his arms

So if you’re lookin’ to find love you can share

All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and love him

And show him that you care”

Love singing along to a bit of Dusty Springfield! OK, the lyrics of the whole song might be a bit dated now. And raise fury in the heart of any ardent feminist. (“Do the things he likes to do, wear your hair just for him…” doesn’t exactly speak of an equal partnership).

But there is an important message in there. And a message that can help us be the size we want to be – particularly if we are to change the recipient of those loving attentions to ourselves.

Dusty’s right. Wishing and hoping doesn’t get us anywhere. In any situation. Whether it’s wishing we were two clothes sizes smaller or hoping we get through the challenges of the day and come out the other side in one piece.

When we begin the day with the thought we can cope with whatever life sends our way, it becomes easier to find our way through difficulties, and can even lead to a feeling of achievement at the end of the day.

Coping instead of hoping. And coming back to Dusty’s advice, a great way to nourish our sense of being able to cope is to be loving — to ourselves.

So, if you’re looking to find love for yourself (and foster your ability to cope), here’s what you can take from Dusty’s melodic tones:

• Mentally or physically hold yourself – give yourself a hug
• Show yourself that you care
• Do the things you like to do (e.g. a hot bath, a walk in the park, reading time – activities that bring you contentment)
• Love yourself.

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