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How it feels to be pregnant and unable to see family and friends during Covid19

Reading Time: 3 minutes
On April 28, 2020
family and friends during Covid-19

I am pregnant and unable to see family and friends during Covid19

Wishing reality away doesn’t help.

Nor does spending hours online exhaustively searching for corona updates. Believe me, I’ve tried both. I initially thought coronavirus might be a two week deal, enough for a quiet break at home, after which life would resume and so would meeting people. I postponed my social engagements rather than thinking that I was cancelling them. As we approach a month of pandemic, what’s left of my social life has moved online. When will it be safe to physically see people again? I have no idea.

Moving from country to country over the past few years has taught me how important it is for me to maintain old relationships and create new connections at every step of my journey. People sustain and motivate me. I was planning to spend the second half of my pregnancy visiting family and friends, sharing with them my joy and concerns around expecting a baby.

Seeing people and receiving their encouragement kept my spirits up when I was facing the insecurities of becoming a mum. I was grateful when friends and family offered to travel and be there during and after the birth, in order to help us through the exhaustion and the changes of the first few weeks with the baby. Now, it’s a challenge to see people who live in the same city, never mind those thousands of miles away.

These are strange times when caring for someone means staying away from them.

I understand the importance of social distancing. My partner and I have been quite strict about it, even with Sweden’s relaxed regulations. We work from home, we only hug each other, and when we occasionally need to meet other people, we keep a distance.

These are strange times when caring for someone means staying away from them.

I understand the importance of social distancing. My partner and I have been quite strict about it, even with Sweden’s relaxed regulations. We work from home, we only hug each other, and when we occasionally need to meet other people, we keep a distance.

Not seeing others is not the only thing that feels difficult,

it’s all the activities that brought me a sense of wellbeing before and during the pregnancy and that involve other people: the dance classes, the choir practice, the ukulele rehearsals, seeing colleagues at work. The medical appointments that we were excited about are now doubled by the anxiety of being in public spaces.

It saddens me to think that our families and friends might not be there with us after birth.

I was looking forward to having them close, and I still hope that by August, when the baby is due, the worst will have passed, the social distancing will be over, and we will be able to have people close to us again. We also found a wonderful doula willing to support us during birth, and I really hope she can be with us in the delivery room.

Whatever happens, you’ll deal with it”

a wise friend told me recently. I tell myself that this pandemic can’t keep going forever, even if we can’t see the end of it yet. There’s so much uncertainty and contradictory opinions, it’s difficult to make any future plans.

In the meantime, I find comfort in my partner’s hugs, words of encouragement from loved ones online and the reassuring movements of the baby inside that keeps growing.