Being under a pandemic lockdown has its ups and downs, mostly downs, but I’m getting better at it.
I think it’s something that comes as a big shock and then slowly settles.
I’ve found a new series to binge-watch on Netflix, found little projects to do around the flat, and I’m trying to find new ways to entertain my one-year-old daughter indoors.
I am allowed to go outside once a day to do essential shopping, exercise or just go for a walk.
Recently I’ve started going for runs to clear my mind. It helps with my anxiety about the whole situation. I always listen to podcasts when I run. Always old clips, pre-corona, to hear people talking about normal stuff for once.
I used to take my daughter to the playground to get a change of environment. My daughter loves the swings. Only one day there was a padlock on the gate to the playground.
I went through all kinds of feeling when I saw this. I think I understood why the precaution was taken, but I must admit I was a bit on edge even walking to the playground. Earlier that morning I had read a text from a friend back in Sweden who said he had been to a spa this weekend. He said it was excellent because there weren’t that many people there. It felt bizarre to read about his weekend spa experience at a discounted price.
Meanwhile, in the UK I’m locked out of the playground and my boyfriend and I are denied even walking into the store as a couple, because ‘we might override the number of items restriction by splitting up our purchases’.
In the UK there are restrictions on how many items you can buy in the stores and how many people can be in the store at the same time.
The few stores that are still open have some kind of security or staff member standing by the door to make sure people keep a two-meter distance from each other whilst standing in line. As one person leaves the store, another person is let inside.
I never thought I’d have to stand in line to even get into the grocery store. But at least the number of items restrictions means the shelves aren’t as empty as they used to be. At least that’s reassuring. But I do wonder how long this will all go on for.
I have to keep myself from trying to finding out anything about the length of this pandemic lockdown. It just sets off my anxiety badly to think too much about the future; regardless of if we are talking about three weeks or six months from now.
I’m wrestling with my thoughts on this one. I want to know what to expect, but the problem is it’s all rumours and rough guesses at the moment.
To be continued…
Social Psychologist and Analyst
Days under lockdown: 15
Hey! I miss you. Title image created by Daniel Barreto. Submitted for United Nations Global Call Out To Creatives – help stop the spread of COVID-19. Via Unsplash